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MTF Dating is part of the dating network, which includes many other general and transsexual dating sites. As a member of MTF Dating, your profile will automatically be shown on related transsexual dating sites or to related users in the network at no additional charge. For more information on how this works, click here. Indeed. I am hiding my identity and gender on this thing to escape the insane volume of contacts I get from men here (I had a different account before and wiped it). I just emotionally cannot handle the abuse I’ve received from men from other coun... Would coming out new research shows a mtf dating sites a new dating website wants to come up with pride. Talking to pick you. Now 100% free some space for a date prospects on the leader in dating mtf - join to start a forum, or north africa. If app developers want to related transsexual dating site that is supportive of rejection and safety ... Online dating sites can be a treacherous territory when it comes to transgender members and transgender dating.Just as the real world does not often accept transgender people, online dating sites are quite similar, except with the added layer of being able to hide behind a computer screen while hurling insults, hatred, and misunderstanding. Mtf & ftm dating.. Close. 10. ... I met my boyfriend at the computer shop I work at a few years before we started dating. He was married and presenting female and I was married and presenting male, yet somehow I made an impression on him and he made a promise to himself that if he was ever single he'd come back to ask me out. Transdr is an open-ended dating app with more than enough gender and sexuality options to accommodate a rainbow of singles in the LGBTQ+ population. This trans dating app offers swiping without transphobic discrimination, and it works for MTF singles and FTM singles interested in striking up a conversation and meeting up right away. MTF Relationship is part of the Online Connections dating network, which includes many other general and transsexual dating sites. As a member of MTF Relationship, your profile will automatically be shown on related transsexual dating sites or to related users in the Online Connections network at no additional charge. As a trans woman on dating apps, I’ve always made sure that guys are aware that I am transgender. This avoids wasting each other’s time. There have also been many documented cases of trans women being hurt and sometimes even killed when they disclose their status to transphobic men that found them attractive, so being completely transparent is also a way of protecting myself from ... The transgender dating community includes cross dressers, t-girls, transsexuals, pre-op, post-op, non-op, MtF, FtM, androgynous, intersex, gender queer, gender fluid, significant others, cisgender individuals and more. Among these will be variations of straight, gay, bisexual, metrosexual, pansexual, asexual and questioning sexualities ... MTF Relationship is part of the dating network, which includes many other general and transsexual dating sites. As a member of MTF Relationship, your profile will automatically be shown on related transsexual dating sites or to related users in the network at no additional charge.
2009.11.13 23:01 Actual Lesbians!
A place for discussions for and by cis and trans lesbians, bisexual girls, chicks who like chicks, bi-curious folks, dykes, butches, femmes, girls who kiss girls, birls, bois, aces, LGBT allies, and anyone else interested! Our subreddit is named actuallesbians because lesbians is not really for or by lesbians--it was meant to be a joke. We're not a militant or exclusive group, so feel free to join up!
A subreddit for men (including cis male, male-identifying, trans men, etc.) to share stories, post photos of their polished nails, and discuss anything related to nail polish or its relation/correlation to gender expression. Those for whom the wearing of polish may also pose challenges (genderqueer, genderfluid, androgyne, trans women, etc.) are likewise welcome.
2017.12.29 02:25 PM_PAINTED_GUY_TOESMale Crossdressers & Femguys Who Happen to Like Women
SFW. A "male lesbian" supposedly is a boy, man or male person who enjoys "crossdressing" and is attracted to women. This oxymoron term is most known from Eddie Izzard. Here you can find media of couples, advice, male makeovers, drag tutorials and other resources. Note: despite the sub's name implications, Bi and Asexual folks are equally welcome! ♥ Not supposed to be confused or conflated with a real lesbian identity nor transsexual (MTF) identity. ML is not an ID label, ignore the name please.
2020.09.17 12:20 socoils6 years ago I asked my first question here
If this post is not allowed, please delete. I found this sub about a year after starting to date someone who identified as MtF and was very early in their transition. I'm a cis-female and I had asked some questions to become more educated and to become a more supportive partner. The responses I received and the people I ended up chatting with actually led us to find a local group and begin the process of starting HRT and working with doctors to explore GRS opportunities. Today, we have been together for 7 years (married for 3) and my wife has reached her 9 week post-op milestone and we couldn't be happier. We are both so grateful for this online community and the path it allowed us to take in our lives. Thank you 😊
2020.09.16 16:12 AriAchillesHas Anyone Begun Dating During The Pandemic? What Have You Done?
Hey folks! MTF here going on a first date with a cis-male tomorrow evening, assuming the weather holds 🤞. We'll be doing a hike through a favorite forest of mine. Don't worry, 6' apart and masked! I'm nervous for the first time in a while, mostly because I'm genuinely excited to get to know this particular individual better. To temper my anxiety, I'd love to hear stories about how your pandemic dates have fared. Any success stories? Any funny misadventures? I'd love to hear 'em!
2020.09.15 01:08 Mq47R12nI was denied housing due to being transgender (KS)
So, w/o giving too much identifying info away, I'm transgender. Have been for ages. MTF, non-binary, they/them pronouns, but for all intents and purposes, a woman. I may be gender neutral, but I'm technically transfemminine, and constantly go above and beyond to look, talk, walk, dress, sound, and act like a woman at all times. I even have an extremely feminine legal name. I've been on hormones for long enough, done enough voice training, and undergone enough facial laser treatment that the majority of those I come into contact with initially perceive me as being female. Anyway, I've been looking for a new place to live, and maybe about a month ago, I hit someone up via the number they provided via craigslist. The apartment this person was speaking on behalf of is roughly a twenty-minute drive from where I currently live, and is a rather well-known complex in the area. During our initial talks, they questioned me about my gender. I felt no reason to give any more info than I felt comfortable sharing, so I said that I was non-binary. They pressed me further, and I explained that if they had to think of it in binaries, they could think of me as being female. Of course they ghosted me, but a few weeks passed and my search in all other avenues had come up relatively scant, and I got desperate enough to text this person again, asking if the property was still available and if I could come by sometime to check it out. Surprisingly, they responded and said that it was. We set up a date and time for me to look around, but about an hour-and-a-half prior to our scheduled time, they start asking me about my gender again, explaining that the apartment (a multi-room space I'd be sharing with a handful of other roommates) was "strictly female-only." At this point, they were demanding to know my exact "situation," something I felt extremely uncomfortable doing. Any trans or gender-queer person could tell you that revealing the truth about your identity to anyone you don't fully trust, while completely your choice to do, has the potential to be extremely dangerous and instantly make you the target of all sorts of discrimination, hateful violence, ridicule, and sexual abuse. Beyond that, I didn't appreciate the tone of the person I was talking to (who at this point also began implying that they weren't a tenant at the building but rather merely connected to it somehow). I'll admit I got a little stubborn at this point as well, refusing to call myself something I'm not and instead sticking to my guns of politely explaining that I am and forever will be non-binary, but that I'm female in every way that counts and also giving just a little bit and calling myself a "non-binary girl." Eventually, they blew up. There's no other word for it. They became extremely rude and explicitly asked, verbatim, if I "have a penis or a vagina," telling me not to waste their time if I'm "a dude," unless I'm confident I can "pass as a woman." That's more or less where the conversation ended, and I blocked them out of fear, rage, and sadness. Writing this, especially that last part, was very difficult for me. I've been harassed and discriminated against more times than I can count, but this was one of the more extreme instances, and I'd just like to know if any sort of legal recourse is on the table for a situation this uninvolved.
2020.09.15 00:16 Lykaon042I think I cracked my egg?
I've been questioning my identity for a little over two months now and I think I came to a realization the other week after discussing things with my wife. It all started when I tried some of her panties on. I spent a few minutes checking out how great my ass looks in cheekies then was, I guess baffled?, at how comfortable I felt in general. I've always been curious about makeup and women's clothes but a combination of being brutally judged by a partner I had when I came out as bi, fear of judgment, and my conservative upbringing caused me to repress my desire to be myself. So, anyway, that happened. I've primarily been wearing panties ever since and I love how I feel. I began to get these feelings I couldn't describe other than this tingly sensation, like butterflies, whenever I'd picture myself as a woman or the thought of transitioning. I have a friend who is MtF (who also officiated my wedding and is a fellow Dudeist priest!) and I've been talking with her about my questioning and feelings. She's telling me it's called gender euphoria. I had always believed that dysphoria involved the crushing weight of being in the wrong body. Is it normal to NOT feel that? I can say that I've always been at odds with my body image and nothing ever really felt right to me. My wife has been super supportive and accepting. She's helping me learn how to apply makeup and we went on a date to ulta this past Friday. I think my real moment of clarity about everything was that I've already decided on a name and that ever since I've come out about this... I no longer feel depressed. I've had this self-hatred for myself and was convinced that one day I'd remove myself from the equation, but not anymore. Aside from anxiety and stress I am finally at peace with myself.
2020.09.15 00:08 taytay7175How can I (cis f) help my girlfriend(trans f) feel better?
Hi everyone, I’m a long time reader of posts in this community, but this is my first time posting. For context my girlfriend is mtf, she began transitioning before we began dating ~1.5 years ago. We have been dating over 7 months. We love each other a lot and plan on moving in together soon. She has come a long way in her transition. And I think she is beautiful and passes with not much effort. But her view of herself is completely skewed, because all she can see are the features in her face that are the same as pre-transition. She won’t go out in public wearing anything even close to feminine for fear of being attacked, she only goes out in hyper masculine stuff, and wears gloves to hide her painted nails. She also works online as a twitch streame YouTube. Today we got into a strange discussion that I need opinions/ help on. She is out online and mostly dresses feminine for streams. Today she was wearing a cute Spider-Man shirt, which is from the men’s section but I don’t think you can tell. I asked her if she wanted to try a new lipstick, I got, for stream. And she said no because she isn’t dressed feminine and will just “look like a man in make-up”. I was shocked tbh. I responded “that isn’t true you have long hair, bangs, painted nails, your face is feminine. The only masculine thing is your shirt.” Then she said “I’m a very non-passing trans woman, I would have to wear more feminine things to tip the scale toward feminine, lipstick isn’t enough.” How can I help her see how she actually looks? I know my view of her may be slightly bias because I love her and think she is beautiful and feminine, but her view is skewed SOOOOOOOO far in the other direction that it feels like there is nothing I or anyone could say to help. It feels like she isn’t seeing the reality of how she looks... I’m not sure what advice I’m looking for tbh, but am open to anything.
2020.09.13 18:54 NecessaryShevilShould I abort my transition now?
I'm MTF, 29 years old, been on hormones for 13 months now. I feel like my life post-HRT is so much more bleak and unhappy compared to my pre-HRT life. I do my best to try and become a normal, everyday, functioning woman. I do voice training, I wear normal business casual clothes, my hair is neat, long and past my shoulders. I have wonderful trans friends who I see or speak to every fay, an SO. But I'm afraid to go outside. I hate my face and feel like there's no chance of me ever passing. Can't stand to look at myself in the mirror or in photos. I get gendered correctly most of the time, but I still feel like a freak. I'm 6ft 2 inches tall. I can't find a job anymore, whereas pre-transition I was always employed in the sector of my choice. However, it's looking increasingly likely that I'll have to give up on my dream career of being a social worker. Absolutely no employer wants to hire a trans person, especially not a non-passing one. I feel utterly lost, career wise. I don't feel like I have any other marketable skills, and there's nothing else I'd really like to do anyway. Except maybe some random office job or something? Not exactly my dream. My dysphoria post-transition is without a doubt MUCH worse than it ever was, pre-transition. All the negative feelings I used to have while living as a man, are absolutely still there but 10 times worse... and they are emotionally wrecking me. I'm depressed. I'm always worrying, often crying, it all just looks so bleak and destructive. It wouldn't be a lie to say that transitioning has had overwhelmingly negative effects on my emotional life so far. I went from being a man with goals, ambitions and dreams, to a sad crossdresser whose only coping mechanism revolves around being emotionally dependent on both my SO and having hookups to get the pain fucked out of me. I think about suicide almost daily, whereas I never (or exceedingly rarely) ever thought about that, back when I lived as my birth gender. I feel like a failed person, a freak, some kind of monster. The only thing that gives me some joy is, well... The sex, I guess. Which is the only thing that has resoundingly improved since starting hormones. As a guy, I was scared of relationships and could't have sex at all. It made me feel awkward and broken. As a woman, everything comes much more natural. And my sexuality has changed, I can actually fall in love with guys now, whereas before I couldn't mentally cope with dating either gender, no matter how much I experimented. I'm supposed to have FFS in the next year, for which I have exactly enough money saved. But after I pay for the FFS, all my life savings will be gone. It'll have a financial ripple effect that will set me back for the rest of my life. But what if I have the surgery, and I'm STILL depressed? Right now, my life has become unlivable. I'm afraid I'm going to wind up killing myself soon. My SO is all that's holding me back. And don't bother telling me to get help, because I already went and GOT enough help. I've seen 4 different psychologists over the previous 2 years and right now I'm seeing my therapist on a weekly basis. It's NOT enough!! They don't know the answer either, despitr their trans-specific training. I'm desperate for something, anyone, anything to save me. Or someone who tells me how I can save myself. Help, please help me. Show me what I can try to get out of this.
2020.09.13 04:30 criminalfindsMy(f,25) fiancé(gender fluid, 27) is transitioning and I’m having a difficult time.
Be prepared, this is a long post. If you're willing to read through I'd love to hear what others in similar situations may have to say. I don’t know what I’m asking for if not, “Please make everything okay!!!”. Maybe someone can just help me understand more, shy away less, be okay with the loss and overall feel less dissonance. My fiancé has recently come out as trans and gender fluid, preferring they/them pronouns, and I’m having a difficult time dealing with this new stage in our lives. Some backstory, my fiancé was in the process of transitioning mtf in their teens, came out, hormone therapy, the works. This process only lasted about 3 years though because their parents thought it was just a phase and rescinded their support with threats of homelessness. They then entered into a relationship in their early 20s that started out supportive but then the girl sided with the family and agreed that my fiancé should be more of “a man”. She started using their dead name, like their family does, and ultimately that relationship did not work out. When we started dating, they presented as masculine the majority of the time. My fiancé and I have now been together for five years. Their gender expression has been the same for that entire period with occasional cross dressing/tucking/and more feminine expression. I’ve never been a fan of any of it, but I’ve been supportive and helpful as I truly feel I should. I asked about their future, their intentions, and their wants when it came to their gender expression. They assured me for years that they were satisfied with their gender expression as it is, male with feminine sprinkles on top. In the last three months, though, they have made major life changes. They decided to come out as gender fluid to their family, their coworkers, and me. I know it wasn’t out of the cards, I guess, but it was still surprising. Tucking became an everyday thing. Feminine clothes were more integrated. They preferred new pronouns. Their behavior and even their voice is changing. And also, they are happier. Which I am ecstatic for. I have plenty of trans friends and my values are perfectly in line with what my fiancé is going through, so why am I so upset? I tried to get past it, but I found myself crying to myself when something new developed in the transition. I avoid using pronouns at all because I don’t want to disrespect their wishes, but I also don’t want them to change their pronouns. I bought them new clothes and makeup, showed them the best way to style it, permed their hair (and it looks amazing), and still my heart is breaking the whole time. I asked if they would eventually transition to female full time, they assured me they wouldn’t, but as things progress, I find that I don’t really believe them. They say they are genderfluid and don’t want to lose their masculinity but in the last three months I’ve barely seen it at all. We’ve talked a lot about how we both feel but it’s not gotten better yet. They’ve talked about corsets, testosterone inhibitors, possible infertility, and it scares me so much. I’m very attracted to them, but I’m not very attracted to femininity. I feel like I’m losing something I really really like, and I don’t know how it will affect our relationship in the future. Maybe I’m just grieving the loss of who they were, I guess expression wise, the whole time I’ve known them. And the more feminine they are the more masculine I feel for some reason? And it makes me self conscious. I ask what the end game is, where do they want to be and how do they see themselves as and they say they don’t know. It’s understandable for them not to know, and I’m not going to push them, but we are both trying to get married and start a family and merge bank accounts so not knowing what where going to end up in this situation is terrifying with so much on the line. I love them so much and I’m not willing to lose them. But I’m becoming depressed, more than I usually am, and it weighs on me heavy. We’ve started couples’ therapy, but it’s not done much so far. We’ve both been doing research on how to better support each other. I’ve been reading forums like this for insight and to not feel so alone. I don’t want to become a negative damper on what is a positive change in their life. Again, I guess I’m not really asking for anything, but I’d love to read yall’s opinions or advice.
2020.09.12 19:19 Archer_PythonThis is for tucute's and radicals coming in here and asking us why we're so "mean" and "exclusionary". Listen up
Apologies for the long post, I just need to address these people coming here and making it seem like we're a hate group sub. So while back I made this post because I sensed some tucutes and radicals coming in and changing the sub's narrative. Now I gotta make a follow up post because now I'm seeing a bunch of em coming in here and saying "so why don't you guys accept people that don't have dysphoria!, but their still trans too!" And when we tell them the truth and smack em in the face with reality they practically cry and say "But why are you getting so mean! Your excluding other trans people! 😭". Open up your ears You N E E D Gender Dysphoria to be a transsexual because that is exactly what trans people freaking have that makes us want to transition. If you are not unhappy in anyway, shape or form with your natal gender, why change it?. And no, you can't just prefer to be boy over a girl and vice versa. And Gender Euphoria isn't a thing. It's actually documented in studies that if someone is excited and has a rush of happiness to be the opposite sex then its a sign of underlying mental illness that's masquerading as GD. People that have so called "Gender Euphoria" and no Gender Dysphoria tend to detransition later on down the line. It's one thing to be excited to start HRT and/or get surgery but if your legit viewing it as a game and obsessing over it then that's proof that you may just be masquerading your underlying mental issues with Gender Dysphoria. We've said this so many fucking times on this sub and I'll say it again. You cannot be a "Non-Binary lesbian" or a Non-Binary gay man". You cannot be a He/Him or They/Them lesbian. You cannot be a She/Her or They/Them gay man. I have my own opinions of NB people but that's for a different post fo a different day. NB is the absence of Gender. A lesbian is a homosexual woman. A gay man is a homosexual man. YOU CANNOT SAY YOU HAVE NO GENDER BUT THEN YOUR ALSO ATTRACTED TO THE SAME GENDER that makes absolutely no fucking sense. As I always say, 0÷0. If your NB and like girls just say you like women. If your NB and like men just say you like men. Bisexual is Bisexual. You don't always have to have a label for your sexuality. You can just like who you like. Similar to what I stated above. PRONOUNS ARE GENDERED. We use He/Him exclusively for men. We use She/Her exclusively for women. We use They/Them for NB people. GET OVER IT. Xenogenders are stupid and made-up nonsense some 14 year old girl on Tumblr made up because read a book on how indigenous people were Two-Sprit/3rd Gender and she took that and ran with it. All that 3rd gender stuff is specifically from that particular culture. It has no right and space to be involved with our culture and language. That's disrespectful as fuck. Your seeing their culture and traditions as a damn political/societal statement and that's really fu*ked up. Stop it. Catgender and Autigender and all this crap needs to end. And no, you being autistic isn't an excuse to make up genders. There's transsexual people that have autism and are normal MtF and FtM transsexuals that heavily disagree with xenogenders that reflect neuro-divergent people. You make them look bad so again, STOP IT. Neo-pronouns are stupid and made-up words. And before you say "But all words are made up!" You know what I mean. If your NB its They/Them. If you legit want people to use neo-pronouns for you, your an attention seeker. I don't wanna hear it. Pansexuals are just fake-woke Bi people. If you truly don't care who you love and sleep with. Again, just say I like who I like. You don't have to make-up a sexuality. You don't always have to have a label for your sexuality, it's ok. And also sometimes pansexual can be transphobic because some people will say "Oh I'm pansexual because I date trans people". No bitch, trans people are men and women. When you date a transwomen it will be exactly like dating a cis woman. Same with a transguy. So stop your fake-ass hyper woke self. We're not "exclusionary" or "mean". We're just sick and tired of you radicals coming and changing what it means to be a transsexual because you wanna change how society views you. All these new genders and buzzwords never existed with real transsexual people thousands and thousands of years ago. Most of this crap came in like the late 80's and 90's when the internet started to be a thing. And it took off in like 2012-2013 when smartphones and social media really started taking off. So stop your sh*t. Your making a mockery of all transsexual people.
So I am MtF 21, and I am not out publicly as I don't pass even a little still.(only 14 days hrt) a lot of my gay friends had mixed opinions some said they would date a MtF who was transitioning, others said they wouldn't if the person planned on getting bottom surgery, so reviews seemed mixed. Basically if I choose to date what is the etiquette? Like can I date gay/bi/pan guys? Because it feels like straight men would be out of the question until way down the line. Also it seems like I should tell them like within the first conversation or date that I am transitioning. Sorry if I have any wrong or bad thoughts around this🙏
2020.09.12 13:30 FatBoySlim512I feel weird and I don't know what to do
So for context purposes there's my partner A who is trans (ftm) and my metamour N who is also trans (mtf). So A and I had been trying for a while to get pregnant with our first child and then A and N started dating and N was informed that A and I were trying and N was ok with that and was told that A and I were not using protection for obvious reasons and N then got really upset because N thought A and I would still be using protection and that we were simply taking multivitamins or things like that to help ensure a healthy pregnancy. A and I had a talk about using protection again because now isn't a good time because of the virus and a few other factors and N was kept in the loop the whole time and then fast forward a few months and A and I had sex twice without protection because we got careless and carried away with the moment and A is now possibly pregnant and has not told N that we slipped up and had sex without protection because N hasn't been coping with a number of things lately including jealousy and I feel like its wrong not to tell N what happened
2020.09.12 12:50 Lizet87Advice: How to proceed and if there is point?
Me (f43) and my partner( mtf 43) dated 2y. We met like at first 1x a week, like 6moths, i staid over at her place, movie,sex etc .We usually stays at her place and she had went to walk and parties with others, so saturday she was tired and did not want to spend money any more. But i wanted also to do stuff with her and go parties. Then after 6m, i asked her to meet more, because i missed her and loved her and wanted to just see her more. Then we started to get together one more evening in week, just to cuddle, eat and watch movie, because apperantly he has sex only 1x a week. So this meeting 2x a week lasted 1.5y. So soon after that she told me, she is moving to other country alone and wants to start poly relationships but not actually to date anyone that seriously there. Because making new friends, means also kissing and cuddling them. And i dont believe in that, i have no need to kiss and cuddle and sex with my friends, they are my friends. In general we did not flirt over messages, no sex talk, not dirty pic etc. She never told me she loved me, only ,, i like you so much, you are the best that ever happen to me,,. So she left 10 moths ago, and wanted to stay friends, because she missed me so bad. But we ended it because she cuddled, kissed and told that she plans to have sex with somebody. And i was,, sry i love you so much, but i cannot watch you date others, while we dont do anything,, also she told me she DOES not want to do nothing with me and maybe never. I was second time heartbroken. Well no she dates and does all sex parties, cuddle parties and what ever she wants. Buuut she still feels lonely. So she wrote me, that shd misses me, and i should go there for 15days and see how she lives and be her main partner. Other partner she is meeting over 2 weeks. Her and me, we could go to parties together and find her new partners. In this letter all is about what she needs and wants, and always find new partners. She somehowe does not offer for me anything, there is no time just for us, for our intimacy. And also if she has sex and dates with other partners every week, what is there for us? If sex is once a week and not with me. Is this really poly relationship. I thought poly is to have deep feelings for partner or two, and about loving them. Not chasing after every skirt. So what would you do, would you go see what she offers. Or you would not, because all is about what she wants, never asking what i want or how. Also how i can primary girlfriend if we have not done or dated anything 10 months, ohhh yea, and she is already sleeping/ dating somebody else. Its all so confusing and also seems she is just using me to have support and my love, but not giving same back. Yes i love her so much and miss her, and when with her i feel happy inside and no need for new guys in my life,( i have not dated or looked anyone in these 10months, i was so heartbroken) i am just sad that she cannot feel same way, and always looking new ones. Has anyone had this type situations, how it went? Please tell your stories. Is there any happy ends?
2020.09.12 10:53 Even-TheoryGirl that I (MTF/non-binary) was dating realized she was a lesbian, and ended things ...
Just want to vent a little bit here. I went on a date with a really nice girl the other day. We connected and chatted for hours, and she even knew that I identified as non-binary (only date I’ve had with that out in the open). I did not fully explain that I thought I might be trans/want HRT, since I’m not entirely sure how to verbalize that well and didn’t want to scare her off. She told me she was bi, and seemed very open minded, so I wasn’t worried about sharing things down the road if it got to that. A few days later, she asked me out for a second date and I was ecstatic! We continued to text and things seemed great until a few hours ago. Today she sent me a kindly worded text explaining how she’s realized that she was a lesbian because of me (cancelling second date). Basically said that because of how much she liked me as a person, it became clear in her mind that men would never be what she wanted (my guess from context/what she said is no physical attraction towards me, since I present fully male for now, but that otherwise I would’ve been a good fit for her). In some ways this gives me confidence because I know that I can possibly date and get along well with lesbian/bi women in future. It also makes me very sad, since I feel like now I can’t mention that I’m probably trans/want to feminize my body (which sounds in my head like desperately trying to see her again, which I know is super unfair to her because I’m still very physically masculine and she wouldn’t be into that). Why couldn’t I just have met her in a year or two after starting transition? I really liked her :( Now that I think about it, the last 3 women I’ve dated (2 before even questioning my gender) have all been bi/lesbian, which gives me some hope about the vibe that I put off and helps me rationalize being a trans woman ... Mark that down as another sign, I guess.
2020.09.11 10:08 Teto_sanWhat are your general experiences in your day-to-day life
Hello guys, if it's okay with you, I would like to ask your experiences day-to-day. I'm a non-binary writer and I'm planning on writing a transgender(mtf) character that's part of the main cast. I don't want to misrepresent anything. I'm currently starting my research and I'm going onto different subreddits and forums. Your insight and experiences are extremely valuable in ny research. I'm sorry in advance if I'm being offensive. Going into the specifics, she's a southeast asian living in a predominantly catholic country. Questions include: EXPERIENCES: SOCIETAL: • What are some of your basic fears? • How do you guys walk down the streets in the day and in the night? • How do people treat you daily after or while in transition? (I'd especially like it if you guys would include what country you're living in and your race) • How do you usually deal with bigots? • What are some of your internal struggles? • How do your friends and family treat you? • What are the drastic differences in living as the gender you're transitioned in from the sex you were born as? • Do people regularly misgender you? • How do you think men percieve you? • What are your typical experiences in bars and nightclubs? DATING: •If you transitioned later in life, (for lack of a way to ask the question) how different is dating for you? •What are your usual fears in going on a date? •What are your fears in dating? •If you're straight, how do you think people percieve you when a straight guy brings you to meet friends, family and such. If you'd like to add more experiences, it'll be highly welcomed and also, correct me if I'm wrong about anything here, I highly appreciate it!
2020.09.11 07:43 Daffodil12345advice with physical affection/boundaries?
I (19 f) made a post on this subreddit back in March after my best friend/longtime crush (18 mtf) came out to me. y'all were super lovely and helpful, so first of all, thank you! some of the great advice i got included a comment that getting into a relationship with my best friend wasn't a good idea due to our friendship being potentially ruined. now i thought this was some pretty solid advice but due to peer pressure from our mutual friend group, along with the flaw of constantly going with my heart over my head, i ended up confessing my feelings for her. much to my surprise, she actually felt the same, and we have been dating for a little less than four months now. to say it's been going great is kind of an understatement. it's the healthiest relationship i've been in and it's also the happiest i've been in a really long time. i guess the only issue i really have is our physical intimacy. like i've mentioned before, we've been dating for four months now, but we have yet to have our first kiss. we've been physical in other ways; i love cuddling with her and covering her face, shoulders, neck, etc. in kisses. i'm so so so happy with her, but at the same time i want to kiss her so badly it hurts. the reason why i've held out is because of her boundaries. in my original post i mentioned that i had thought she was aesexual due to her adversity to sex and other physical forms of intimacy. turns out, she's not asexual, but had been repressing any sexual/romantic tendencies that she experienced throughout the years, saying that because she's trans she felt 'undesirable', and that a sexual/romantic life was something that she could not and should not pursue until she was passing. obviously this is not the case, i've always found her 'desirable' passing or not. i brought up the kissing matter with her last weekend. the conversation started out with me mentioning how i really wanted her to speak up if she ever felt uncomfortable while i was cuddling/kissing her. i then causally throw out that i would also like to kiss her, but i was fine with waiting. i looked up to see her reaction and was horrified to see that she was close to tears, not the reaction i had wanted at all. apparently she was crying not from the idea of kissing me (thank god) but more from her own insecurities. she told me she felt guilty because she never initiated any of the physical intimacy and that, because of that, wasn't being a good partner. she told me she was still trying to unlearn the 'im undesirable" mindset and that it was "taking too long" and that she "wasn't fulfilling my needs" and "wasn't enough" for me. i was kind of horrified by this reply and tried my best to comfort her and tell her that i don't need her to initiate any of the physical intimacy, and that my main and really only concern was making sure she was comfortable. i also told her that not only was she enough for me but she was more than enough, and that she's one of the most generous lovers i've ever had, even if it's not in the physical sense. frankly i'm kind of haunted by this whole conversation. it got cut short from a phone call from a friend, so how do i pick it back up? what should i say? is there i way i can help her unlearn this mindset, and is there a way i can let her know that she means everything to me? i absolutely despise the idea that she thinks she's not enough for me. should i even try to bring up my interest in kissing in her or should i put that on the back burner until we get this other stuff sorted out? any advice is appreciated!
2020.09.10 23:30 scrambled-projectionHow likely am I to be able to get into a long term relationship as a transbian?
I’m currently closeted (MTF) to most people besides my mother and friends, and while everyone is being very supportive, my mum is a bit... put off by this new information. She wants me to be happy but keeps bringing up she fears I’d be romantically alone if I transitioned into a girl. She also has a hard time wrapping her head around the idea I like girls, and want to be a girl. I’d like to reassure her as I know that finding long term relationships isn’t nearly impossible, but I’m having a hard time pulling out arguments as I am admittedly utterly inexperienced with dating as a trans person or in general. I know she just wants me to be happy, and I want her to be at peace, but the way she brings this up is uneasy at best and dysphoria inducing at worst. TLDR: my mom is scared I’ll be alone if I transition and I’m getting second hand anxiety, how do I reassure her?
2020.09.10 23:17 Astra116So how do you all deal with dysphoria?
Hi! MtF here (but irrelevant for this post!) pre everything but got it all in the works just waiting on scheduling and dates. Im been struggling more than usual lately since it's always on my mind now and for my be biggest thing is facial dysphoria. I'm a little obsessive over it and already scheduled FFS for a significant sum of money but I'm still worried about the outcome and extra dysphoric as I know there will be some work the HRT will need to do. I'm old so it's just facial fat deposits and what not. Anyway. So I'm curious To all the guys, gals, enbys, and everyone else in between: What do you find that helps with these sorts of feelings? I suffer from severe clinical depression as well so I'm always trying to keep myself from drowning in unhappiness every day. The dysphoria absolutely does not help. I'm looking for any tips for myself and anyone else who reads this really. We're all in the same boat at some point or another!
2020.09.10 22:55 ThrowRA10031Ex (17 MtF) came out after I (17 F) broke up with her. Can I call her my ex-boyfriend?
For background: we dated for four months. I won’t go into too much detail about the breakup or our relationship, but I really shouldn’t have agreed to date him. I think I convinced myself that I liked him because he was so vocal about liking me. The situation: when we were dating, my boyfriend (“Steven”) presented as male. He used he/him pronouns, had a disgusting beard, and was pretty much your standard gamednd guy (I know it’s a stereotype, but in this case it’s true). Steven wasn’t very feminine and the only thing he said that could be perceived as foreshadowing was him asking me about him wearing a skirt. I didn’t think anything of it because I mean you do you. I wasn’t into him for the way he dressed/looked anyways. I broke up with Steven for so many reasons at the beginning of quarantine. I would’ve done it sooner, but I didn’t want to have to sit behind him in class and have it be awkward, so I waited until we weren’t going back to school. About a week or so after I broke up with him, Steven texted me saying “I wasn’t your boyfriend, I was your girlfriend,” and then telling me he was going to go by a new name (“Stephanie”), but telling me not to tell anyone because she hadn’t fully come out. She also asked if I wanted to be friends, which was a hard no, and she added a weird comment about “I don’t know if you swing that way,” which implied getting back together or something along those lines. I told her that regardless of her gender, I didn’t ever want to be friends, and she texted “okay,” and we haven’t spoken since. Now we’re in eSchool, and Stephanie’s in one of my classes. The teacher calls her by a feminine name (not the name she came out to me by, but she could’ve changed it), she shaved her beard, and she grew out her hair. We’re not allowed to chat in that class, so I have no idea if she’s completely out (I’m assuming so). I guess what bothered me was the way she came out. By using the phrase “I was never your boyfriend,” I feel like she’s negating our relationship and making it seem like I must be into girls. I understand the motive, and I’m not being transphobic or trying to insist that she isn’t a girl. However, if someone presents as male, was assigned male at birth, describes oneself as a boyfriend, and comes out after a relationship is over, I’d classify them as a boyfriend (at the time). I definitely would not have dated Stephanie if she were out during or before our relationship. My question is, can I use he/him pronouns when describing a period of Stephanie’s life in which she presented as male? When I talk to friends or family about the relationship, can I say she was my boyfriend (if I add a clause like “but she presents female now”)? There’s no way I’m going to contact Stephanie to find out if she’s out, but by her appearance, higher voice, and the way the teacher calls her by a female name, I don’t see how she couldn’t be. I’m very frustrated by the way she handled things and shoved this huge secret on me (why would you come out directly and solely to your ex anyway?!), and I just want to be able to vent to my friends. TL;DR: MtF ex came out after the relationship ended. Was she my boyfriend? When can I start ranting about her to my friends?
2020.09.10 17:50 HiddenStillI need help with the wiki
For some time now I've not been able to keep up with it all the content I want to add top the wiki, and at the same time I'd like to expand its scope help more people. I'm the only person working on it and unfortunately I've reached my limit. There's also the risk that I'll stop one day and there will be no one in place to continue. There's been a noticeable increase in the number of FTM people using the sub, and I think its time to add more support for them. I'd like to add FTM surgeries to the wiki in the same way that MTF currently is. It's a lot of work and I simply cannot do it. If one or more people would like to tackle it then I'd like to discuss how it might be done. I'm also unable to keep up with surgery video's on YouTube. Its too time consuming and I'm sure I'm missing many. If anyone has any special interests that might help others I could setup new pages for them. There are a few people who maintain such content already, however it would be an advantage to have it centralized - the wiki is the start of something that could be so much more in a years to come. An example might be the "Am I trans posts". It's an important topic and there's been so many posts on other subs and some great responses. Another is the question of research supporting gender identity. A page on that would very helpful. My main philosophy in the building the wiki is to help people find what they need elsewhere. In some cases its helpful to give an overview, and I have occasionally written on certain subjects, but I try to avoid it. If anyone would like to contribute in any way, even if its small, I'd like to talk about it. You could be helping a lot of people. Edit: To explain in more detail.
This is not about moderating this sub. That's not a problem at the moment, and the wiki is actually on two other subs setup where no one can post.
This is about collecting information from all anywhere public on internet and adding links in the wiki so people can find it. There's so much being posted these days, and I've so little time, that I'm not able to keep up anymore.
Its not really about structuring the wiki either. The main problem is just collecting information, organizing it is relatively easy.
My workflow at the moment is to edit the wiki on my computer and then just copy the complete pages over to reddit. This makes it easy to do, but hard to work with others. Unless I'm getting a huge amount of help from others I don't want to change as it will slow me down. This would not be a problem if someone wanted to work on a topic that I'm not, FTM wiki pages for example. I try not to write my opinion on things as I find its almost impossible to write something authoritative and correct, and its also too much time to write and keep up to date. The wiki's I've seen on other subs don't get updated properly when this happens because people are very reluctant to modify others work. Lists of links don't suffer that problem. The cases where I have written my own content are exceptions that perhaps I shouldn't do, but I was particularly interested in something and it was a handy place to put it. In case anyone wants to be a mod here, there's no real need because the only parts that mods do with any regularity is reviewing reports, banning trolls, and making sure people follow the rules (there's not much of that). The other mod tasks are quite infrequent. Anyone can help people out with advice. And since we're on the subject of this sub, its growing quite rapidly and I expect it will continue to do so. This sub has already helped a lot of people and by contributing you'd be helping even more in the future.
2020.09.09 16:16 actualkylieWhat do I need from my employer?
I'm looking for advice on what to bring up with my employer when I meet with HR. For context, I've already come out as trans (MTF) to our CEO and HR. They both responded with very supportive and thoughtful replies, and I have a meeting coming up with HR to discuss in further detail. I'm currently in the transition process, but still presenting as male. Additionally, there is very little in the way of transgender policy at our company outside of a specific inclusion in anti-discrimination and anti-harassment policies. It's quite a small company, and I don't know that they've ever come across the situation before. Here's what I've come up with so far... I'd love some input on my current thoughts, as well as additional things that I can bring up with them:
From a treatment perspective, I want things to stay the same. I’m the same person inside and am only changing my outward expression to better fit who I am inside.
I want to make sure that it’s approached in a way that makes colleagues and leadership as comfortable as possible with this transition. Not everyone will agree or be open to it. But I still want to do my best to ensure that their opinions and views are respected as well as my own right to be myself.
Open to feedback on how to approach it with colleagues. I want to be considerate of the company to ensure that we are prepared as a company for this before addressing it publicly.
Current insurance coverage for transgender issues appears very limited. Possible to investigate policies that have more transgender inclusive coverages? Willing to pay a portion out of pocket for this if the coverage ends up at a higher cost. Maybe an introduction of tiered coverage?
Name change/pronouns – Date TBD. Kylie (she/her).
Bathrooms – this topic kind of terrifies me. I have no idea what to do here when the time comes and would like to take the lead from you.
2020.09.09 06:16 a-singular-donutIs it weird that I want to transition but also be a lesbian?
Hi, I’m currently 17M and I was thinking about this. I started seriously considering transitioning a few weeks ago and I’m thinking that if I decide to fully go through with things I’ll probably have to wait until college just to be safe. Idk if this is a dumb question but I’ve just been thinking about it because even though I want to transition I’ve always been attracted to girls, and even though I consider myself bi I’d still want to be in a serious relationship with a girl. I’ve been looking around and most of the examples of MtF people online who’ve talked about dating are attracted to guys, so I was wondering if this is a normal thing.
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